Householder Life

Remove Negative Pradigms about Women and Marriage

Sacred union will benefit every single person, whether or not married – even brahmacaris or sannyasis will benefit personally and in their preaching.

Negative paradigms about women and marriage still exist today in the minds of many in ISKCON. Men especially are prone to misunderstand their responsibility to be a caring and loving partner. They are often more influenced by their father’s example of a husband, or the examples of contemporary society, than they are by the examples of married men in our sastras.

I find that most married men don’t deeply understand a woman’s nature and how to best deal with it. And some don’t recognize the need or importance of being exemplary husbands whose wives are happy and satisfied. The result is that wives suffer.

Many women in our movement are unhappy in their marriages – more than you are likely aware of. Men are not giving the emotional support that their wives require. Often they don’t know how to give it, don’t think it is important, or just don’t want to deal with their wives emotions. Couples live together, but are often quite far apart.

Despite this reality, many will think (especially men) that they don’t need to attend a workshop on grhastha life. We need to make devotees realize that they need to come. They might say my marriage is fine, I don’t need to come (more men will say this than women) but it is important to make them realize that unhealthy attitudes and paradigms towards women and marriage undermine the foundation of a good marriage.

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