There is a natural attraction between men and women, there is a natural pleasure in being together, especially at the beginning of the relationship. The foolish believe that since they like each other, they will be happy forever. But things change, feelings change, and if lift the couple doesn’t know what is happening and how to deal with it, there will be problems. Therefore it’s important to be aware of the basics of male and female dynamics.
If a man doesn’t know what a woman is and a woman doesn’t know what a man is how will they know how to interact. Vedic literature tells us what is male, what is female, what are their needs, what is their inter-relationship, etc. Knowing that, you are at an advantage.
Know What You are Getting Involved In
Someone might know that horses kick, throw and bite, and decides not to get involved with them. Someone else may also know that horses kick, throw and bite, but he is willing to deal with that; he is mentally prepared. Both approaches are legitimate. Similarly the sastras, the Vedic scriptures inform us that the issues and obstacles in family life are many. Some are aware of that long list of problems and avoid getting married; but, generally, those who get married ignore the list. As with the case of the horse it’s the person who understands the challenges and is willing to work with them that will be successful. In the same way those who are conscious of the challenges and dynamics of family life and are willing to work through them will be successful in married life. Therefore it is said that the first class brahmacari will make a first class grihastha. The knowledge is the same. And when one decides to get involved, he does it knowing what he is dealing with and approaches matters with the proper mood.
Women are About Relationships
The woman wants the man to interact with her. She is more relationship-oriented than him. He is often happy just dealing with matter, moving things around or just accomplishing something. But the woman wants things done to generate an experience. Women are looking for an experience in the process and in the result. Man wants results and he will put up with anything to get them.
This is an excerpt from the Bhakti Marriages Course “Get Ready for Married Life for Women” from ISKCON Congregational Development Ministry, prepared by Sri Radha Govinda Dasi.