The following items are symptoms that may indicate abuse. In themselves they do not signify abuse, but they should raise concern:
- Your partner has a history of abuse.
- You tend to give more than you receive in the relationship; you perceive that your relationship is not reciprocal.
- You think your spouse or partner has much potential but it just never seems to manifest, even after much time spent together.
- You fear “being yourself” in the association of your spouse.
- People you love and trust advise you that your spouse is not acting in your best interest.
- Your spouse consistently tells lies and is generally devious.
The following are symptoms of abuse.
- Your partner doesn’t take responsibility for his or her actions and often blames you instead.
- You relinquish more and more of the social or spiritual standards you have previously established in order to acknowledge the demands of your spouse and to keep the peace in your relationship.
- Your spouse often ridicules your opinions or ideas, calls you names, or embarrasses you in public.
- You are regularly subjected to unwarranted jealousy and controlling behavior, even to the point of isolation from family and friends.
- Your partner or spouse often makes excuses for his or her neglectful or hurting actions. Frequently, he or she will apologize without making any changes in conduct. There is inconsistency between words (e.g. promises) and conduct.
- You are subjected to physical, emotional or verbal violence.
Reproduced with permission from vaisnavafamilyresources.org.