Questions & Answers

Is Marriage Not a Good Deal for Husbands These Days?

Today in the West with “no-fault” divorce, 70% of divorces are filed by women whose husbands have no faults, they are not drunkards or adulterers or irresponsible. The women just woke up one morning and decided they “weren’t happy,” “we have grown apart” or some other such idea, and since the laws all favor the women they divorce the husband, take his home, his kids, 50% of his income and pension fund and then go find a new boy friend.

I don’t want this to happen to my son so I am cautioning him to avoid marriage if at all possible it is just not worth it with all the legal and financial problems he is likely to face. This is the reality of today’s world populated by women with a sense of entitlement to everything but no responsibility. Factually marriage is not a good deal for men these days. I have seen several of my male relatives financially and emotionally ruined by marriage and I don’t want this to happen to my son.

Mahatma Das: The idea of marriage is that a husband, ideally being strong, uplifts a woman (who is generally weaker). That doesn’t guarantee that a woman who has a good husband will not leave him, but statistically speaking women with good husbands have better marriages and less divorce.

It is a general conception that most divorces are filed by women who have husbands who have no faults. But, we need to define what people mean by no faults because my personal experience is different. I find many, many husbands don’t know what it means to be a good husband and I rarely find unhappy women who have really good husbands. By good I mean caring, honest, supportive, set a good example, etc.

Rather than caution your son not to marry, teach him what it means to be a good husband and what is the nature of women and marriage, and then let him decide whether or not he wishes to marry. There is no use in him being single if he is not qualified to do so. It is much wiser to train him to be a good husband because that will reduce the likelihood of having a bad marriage. Once trained in this way, he can better decide whether or not to marry.

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